Who's in charge?

Okay, so here I am. My name is Jaime. And I am eighteen years of age. I have brown eyes, thick brown curly hair, and apparently, from what I have heard snippets of throughout my life, I am "exotic" looking.

So I am going to start off with why I am creating a blog. It will probably be one of the best ways for me to express who I truly am and not worry about judgements. I will be able to laugh when I need to, cry when I need to, release when I need to. I chose the title "who's in charge" because that question sort of, well, sums up the state that I am in and will be in for the next couple of months...years even. I will be asking myself to sink into the deepest parts of my soul, to inherit control over my own life. And my choices.

My other form of releasing emotion besides this blog would have to be, raw expression. The performer within me comes out. I am a performer, yes, but that doesn't only categorize what career I have chosen to pursue recently, it categorizes my human behavior. When I am alone and need to express something, I sing one of those broadway solos that I find endearing, and parallel my own life in some way, to sing. I find the most beautiful song that is stuck in my mind at that moment, to dance to. I find ways to express, and I always will have that. Whether or not I do go into this field.

I told my dad today that I can see myself as a starving artist. It would mean having a lot less monetary responsibility, which I am quite fancying right now. (yes, I did just use some British slang). He said "yeah, well you can suffer better", and I thought about it, let myself process it, before I replied, "well, I might like to suffer differently".

I will like to end with a quote that I will try to live by:

"Perhaps it's not about destiny, it's about what's real"